Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
