I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Randomize
