We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize