at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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