You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Randomize
