Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
please come you make the beer taste better
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
