I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
