I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize