We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
