She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
