Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
