Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
