Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Barsexuality is the new black.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
