carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
