We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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