There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
