Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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