If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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