know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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