Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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