Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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