I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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