I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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