I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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