she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
