I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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