So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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