Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
