oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
