I seem to have left my pride at pride
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
