roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
