Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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