oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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