just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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