Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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