...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
