that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
