I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
