the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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