I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
