What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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