I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
