i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
