All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
