Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
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