Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
