thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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