So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
