you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Where is the hickey?
I'm jealous of your bromance
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
