Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Everything about him screamed your future.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
