he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
