do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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