i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
