Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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