You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize