4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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