i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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