Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
