sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize