I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
