My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Randomize