I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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