i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Is Oprah even human
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
