at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
