Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
we should paint friendship bongs
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
